Lets start a conversation here, sharing experiences of those who have a partner or spouse with Paranoid Personality Disorder. Ask questions, offer advice, get support.Do partners get better or worse with time?
Does your partner recognize that they have a problem?
Is there anything that has improved the relationship?
Posts
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I've been married to a man with PPD for 13 years. I only found out about PPD a couple of years ago. The only thing that keeps us together is my will. If I try really hard, and just ignore all the weird things he says,and try not to take things personally, it can work ok. But I am tired of doing that. I just spent 8 months building up and shoring up our marriage by being acquiescent, affectionate (both physically and verbally), building him up, etc. And he brought it all down in one night with his abusive tactic of taking his anger at someone else and turning it on me, dragging me into an argument at 4:30 in the morning, while I begged him to be reasonable and wait for a better time to talk about it. At which time he called me an "Ass" and said I was "mean".. and stormed out of the room.
ReplyDeleteI know that he has abandonment issues, but I am seriously thinking this is the time to get out. I am very attracted to him physically and sex has always been very good between us, although he does have some control issues there.
Now that our youngest is almost 12 I am seriously considering getting the hell out while I can still have some time to live a happy and peaceful life.
Tired Wife
I have been together with my PPD husband for 20 years, married to him for 13 (after I got pregnant with our daughter ... the best thing to come out of this marriage.) I'm not going to say it has been unmitigated, unrelenting hell, because there have been times when his disorder wasn't quite as bad. But the bad times are just so ... bad. Unending verbal abuse, emotional abuse, and intermittent physical abuse too. I have wanted to get out of this relationship and try to find a normal, stable life for a long time, but everything in our life together has been structured around me not leaving it, if you know what I mean ... he's been stably employed for approximately 2 of our 20 years together, his rationale being that if he holds down a job then I'll start looking for the door and he has to stay unemployed (a "house husband" he calls it, though he does nothing around the house) to "keep the family together." I hate writing about this because it makes me see how bitter and mean I've become. I want to be a kind and loving person. I've always stopped short at just leaving him because if I do, he'll just spiral back down into homelessness (he was homeless for a long time before I met him when I was 22 ... I thought it was just his "rambling days" but now I see how it was all part of a pattern.) Anyway ... it just all seems so bleak sometimes. I am emotionally tied to a man who doesn't support me at all, but who expects LOTS of support. I work a full-time job to support the family (and am currently interviewing for a much higher, more senior position with longer hours, that will mean more security for my family but more accusations from him about how "grandiose" and "self-important" I am) but am derided as being self-centered if I don't have coffee ready for him in the morning, serve him his lunch on a plate at his computer, and have dinner ready for the family. I know, writing it out you'll think I'm an idiot, you'll say, "why do you put up with it?" I put up with it because he's a human being and I don't know what else to do. I can't just kick him out onto the street. He's alienated every other person in his life, including his family and my family. And it's all happened slowly, over time, to the point where I've come to accept things that I never would have accepted before. It's like the craziest things are normal.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, here's my hope. My hope is that I will get this job (and somehow manage to do well at it, finding a way to keep my husband from calling me all the time and inventing reasons I need to come home and generally subverting me as he's done at every other job I've held outside the home). This job would come with health insurance benefits, which I haven't had the past 4 years, as I've worked as an independent consultant out of my home. (With him there all day, of course, playing poker on his computer, or trading penny stocks.) If I had health insurance benefits, I could get some counseling -- for myself, of course, because according to him I'm the one who has a problem, I'm narcissistic and self-centered, which maybe I am, who knows. Maybe it's the ultimate narcissism to think you can play God and save someone when maybe you should just give up and say, "this is his problem, let him deal with it." But I've never wanted to do that.
I've rambled so long on this post that it surely sounds like I'M the crazy one. ;-) It feels good to share and vent. I send love and support to any of my sisters and brothers out there who might be in the same boat. Having a spouse with PPD is horrible and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
I am married to a woman that has PPD. It has affected her relationships at work. "Everyone is watching her and out to get her." I have been accused of being part of this group at times. If we have conversations at home about a topic and some at work discusses the same topic it means I have been telling these people our private conversations.
ReplyDeleteShe thinks people have been through our home and our garbage. She believes she is being maltreated by local businesses. It is the group at work that is causing all this.
I am forced to walk on egg shells around the house as I am not sure if something I say will set off on paranoid episode. It is becoming very hard to maintain this relationship.
There seems to be little to do in the way of counseling as she will switch counselors the minute the tell her something she does not want to hear.
Like the previous poster. I am ready to get out and find some peace. Life is too short to be unhappy.
My husband has PPD. It is very stressful most days, although there are pleasant moments here and there that make me think I am the one that is paranoid. Most of his accusations are directed toward my children. He can be very hurtful. They are going through therapy and learning to recognize that this is a disease, much like Cancer. He didn't ask for it and neither did we. But we are a family and we are dealing with it together. We call it his monster. The Devil dwells in our house and we find our solace in God alone.
ReplyDeleteMY current girlfirend has this diagnosis.
ReplyDeleteIt is difficult I have to admit.
A few things that a partner of a Ppd should not do:
Do no go into arguments that have no outcome.
Tell the truth and stick to that, dont repeat or complex your story for more gaps will appear to the person in question, thus causing more reason to be suspicious.
Part 2
ReplyDeleteWhen the relationship was hanging by a thread, she finally agreed to go to therapy. I agreed to go with her. We got in there with the doctor and she proceeded to lie through her teeth. She denied that she had any issues and in fact accused me of being the one responsible for the demise of the relationship. I broke up with her following the appointment.
We talked a week later and she apologized and promised to tell the truth if I went to therapy again with her. I agreed to go. We got in there and it wasn't much different. She was stand-offish and refused to really make herself vulnerable or open herself for evaluation by the doctor. We took some time apart and then tried once more. She swore that she had kicked the issue, that things would be different, and she could trust me now.
I gave things another shot. My daughter was so thrilled to have her back in our life. Things were so great at the beginning, but I once again began to recognize the signs that nothing had changed. The comments about my phone... Her need to be over my shoulder whenever I was checking email... Accusations about other women... It all started coming back. Another New Year's Eve alcohol induced meltdown in front of the same two friends was my breaking point. I knew 4 months ago I needed out. But it wasn't until tonight that I finally got some closure.
We hadn't spoken in about 2 weeks. She works shifts so it hasn't been a huge issue with my daughter because we were used to going periods of time without seeing her.
I got a call from my ex (mother of my daughter) tonight telling me that she ran into my girlfriend at a party the other night. My girlfriend told her a collection of outright, nasty lies about me and told her that she had dumped me because of my anger issues. Even though my ex and I haven't been together for 6 years, she knew that what my girlfriend was saying to her was complete bullshit.
I am beyond fucking angry right now... I hung up the phone with my ex and began dialing my girlfriend's number... but I stopped. Not worth it.
Instead, I sent her an email... Basically just said that I love her but she needs help. And asked her never to contact me again.
I really have it this time... closure that is. I know there is no going back. I'm going to tell my daughter tomorrow that my girlfriend won't be coming back. It's not a conversation that I'm looking forward to, but I know it has to be done.
The arrival of closure in my mind is a nice feeling but everything still sucks in a way.
Part 1
ReplyDeleteI finally ended my relationship for good tonight. My girlfriend has Paranoid Personality Disorder.
We have been together for about 3 years now. I am a single dad of a 6 year old... And this is the first girl I've ever felt strongly enough about to introduce into my daughter's life.
I first noticed the signs when we were about 4-5 months into the relationship. I honestly chalked it up to her PMS. Things were so perfect between us though, that we were practically living together and she had already become a second mother to my daughter.
I noticed that she would get really worried about where I was, who I was with, what I was doing on my phone/Facebook/email, etc. We started to fight a lot about the non-existent other woman. Whether it was some girl who I traned UFC with, a woman from work, a girl I dated years prior, she was slowly starting to accuse me of improper behaviours.
I started to think that I needed to go the extra mile to try and gain her trust and prove to her that I'm a good guy and I'm not going to cheat on her. I gave her my Blackberry for days at a time, I gave her passwords for my email and FB accounts, but none of it worked. In retrospect, this was extraordinarily naive and enabling behaviour on my part. But this was my first serious relationship in years... So I thought initially that it was something that I did that led her to think she couldn't trust me, and somehow this was my fault.
Nothing I did to try to gain her trust ever helped her begin to trust me. It slowly began to dawn on me that she had serious issues, and they were far from my control. But by this time, we were living together and she was fully entrenched in every facet of my life, especially my daughter's. It wasn't like I could walk away.
Alcohol made things worse. She would get drunk and accuse me of fucking every female on the planet. At her birthday party while we were out partying with her friends, she accused me of flirting with 2 randoms at the bar and trying to set up a threesome. On New Years, she had a major alcohol fueled meltdown in front of my best friend and his wife. For the first time, she became violent towards me.
I did my best to soldier on. I tried to convince myself that we were going to get past it. When we were not fighting about another woman, she was 1000% percent the person I want to be with forever. That was literally the only thing we ever fought about, and even though we only fought about it once a week or so, the fights were starting to get scary... Violence... Property destruction... It was awful.
After several more months of living like this, my patience was virtually non-existent. I lost control of my anger more times than I care to admit. I just couldn't handle having my integrity questioned like that anymore. I began to hate her when she accused me of something. At the beginning, I tried to understand her and work with her to help her trust me. By the end, I was a disaster. The second she would start asking me to clarify something about another woman, I would simply say, "get the fuck out of my house". I had no time for it. I seethed with rage whenever she accused me of doing something wrong. This only made things worse.
Wow...and wow. Thank you for posting your story about your girlfriend. This was immensely helpful to me. I met my boyfriend 11 years ago and we were friends from a distance. 3 months ago, we decided to finally get into a more serious relationship now that I was divorced. It was perfect. I felt like I knew him well since we had discussed a lot of intimate details about our lives over the last 11 years. He was attractive, successful, and incredibly intelligent and...we had a history of being friends. After years of being neglected, here was a man who always said he loved me but could finally show me just how much. He knew how to cater to me in every way and our connection was incredible.
ReplyDeleteI was searching for some sort of support group online for people in our situation and this was the best I could find. The person I love who suffers from this disorder has barely anything to do with me now. We dated for nearly two years. He began going through periods of withdrawal from me until ultimately, he ended our relationship. In the beginning it was wonderful. There were some strange signs but at the time, I didn't recognize them for what they were. I introduced my love to my family and young daughter.
ReplyDeleteEven after the hardships of dealing with the episodes of paranoia, I still want to be with this person, even though I know I shouldn't. Even though it was hard and sometimes painful. There were very bad moments, moments of yelling at the people in the walls who were listening. But there were also very good times filled with laughter and love.
I find it sad and lonely. I find that my friends and family do not truly understand what it is to watch someone you love spiral out of control while you can do nothing. I find that I've lost a bit of myself.
I am married to a man who I am convinced has PPD. After reading all of these stories I know that must be what the issue is. He definitely has abandoment issues which I always blamed on his parents divorce (his brother and sister are the same way) and I figured his trust issues stemmed from that but as we have been together longer more aspects of his personality have emerged that make it impossible to believe that is all it is. He is text book in his belief that inncocent comments that are made are an attack on him. He is often unhappy with the state of the world thinking that bad things are coming and is very antisocial. He mocks all of our aquantiences and never has a good time when we go out. He also nitpicks and is angry for unreasonable amounts of time for silly little things.
ReplyDeleteHe recently told my dad that he really believes I do things on purpose to hurt him. Obviously that is not true and as we have just had our second child I want more than anything for our relationship to work and for us to just have a normal life but I just don't feel like this is possible. His mother is definitely off the deep end but besides her conspiracy theories she is incredibly religious. I am really hoping that my husband doesn't get worse as he gets older, but he is in his early 30s now and it has gotten worse over the last 7 years we have been together. He is so worried about the future that he has started buying food supplies, all kinds of survival gear, and 2 guns. He says that the only reason for all of this is so he can protect us should something happen but I just don't feel like this is normal. My husband is very successful and functions well at work I can only assume so I am not sure why it is our personal life that suffers so much. His job requires that he do a lot of research and I know that only contributes to his fear of the future.
He ADORES his children and is really a wonderful father but like others have said, he is nasty drunk especially if he has taken any medication beforehand, and when he fights he goes for the jugular. He also rants and goes on and on about whatever he is upset about and only wants to hear an apology. I have told him for years he doesn't understand me because all he is does ascribe motives to my behavior that are always wrong. He tells me that is his perception but his perception is not reality and he doesn't get that.
I just don't know how long I can do this for. I feel like I am always on eggshells as I never know what is going to set him off and he his nasty comments when we fight really hurt me. He has promised to work on how he fights but he has said that before. I don't think in a million years he would ever hurt me. We have gotten into knock-em-down drag-em-out fights and I have gotten in his face and he has NEVER been violent with me, but given the amount of rage he has I was wondering if with this disorder if it is possible...
Anyway, thanks for reading my life. I see that this site really only has peoples stories but there is really no feedback on how you get through everyday or help the person that won't help themselves or recognize they have a problem.
i have been seeing a girl for the last 10 months. I thought she was the most perfect woman when we first met, so loving and caring. Then i was questioned about many people on my FB account, and, as i had been single for a while i thought maybe she has a point and cleaned my page of anyone i had met dating or i thought had that intention. It then went a step further and she had an issue with some others who were just friends, so i capitulated and deleted them.
ReplyDeleteShe lives abroad, and early on we agreed that one of would have to move or no point in getting into a relationship, i said i was happy to move if it all went well. After a couple of months there were moments where i received very abusive emails, using expressions like "i F*cking hate you", "you are shit","you are no man", now to be fair, she had told me at the outset she had trust issues, but i had no idea on what scale, i know me and i am loyal and honest and thought we would work it out. I was continually accused of not keeping her informed of my whereabouts, for instance when it took me 4 hours to pick up my new car, she assumed i was lying and was doing god knows what. I am never directly accused of having affairs or seeing women, but i am constantly accused of lying or hiding "things". And even when presented with a logical objection, dismantling her argument with facts to prove otherwise, these are dismissed also. She constantly puts the relationship under threat when i am not with her, and the levels of anger are off the scale. Perhaps i made the mistake of trying to give her control of the relationship hoping it would make her feel more secure, all that resulted from that was i was walked all over. I have started to question myself now, doe she really have a point sometimes?
My friends have seen dramatic changes in me and i have become introverted. I really do love this woman, and when i am with her all is fantastic, but when i am here, after a couple of days the madness starts. now i am supposed to be moving soon and have made major changes to do so, and now all is an issue again. She has gone out of her way to try and make me jealous or suspicious when i am not naturally like that, she told me if i wasnt jealous i didnt love her. I saw that one for what it was. She is very capable of shutting me out of her life for days at a time, which isnt a problem to me, but i know when she returns i will be accused of everything under the sun while the contact was lost, even though it was her that gave me the silent treatment.
Even her friends have told me she has issues, you would think i would run, but i just want to wrap her in cotton wool. I was looking for some explanation and i saw this forum, it is all so alien to me that someone can behave like that, such extreme language and she convinces herself and really upsets herself that i am not honest. I have no idea where to turn...........guess i will keep searching google..........anyway if anyone can relate to any of this i hope it helps, or feel free to comment......thanks for reading.
I really need someone to talk to. My girlfriend has PPD and our lives have spiralled out of control. I feel very alone. I know I need to get out of this and move on, but I love her so much and just can't seem to accept that she will never see the light about her condition.
ReplyDeleteOh God, I am so very afraid I have just married a man with PPD. Not afraid I have married him, just afraid that I can't help him or us now I've researched PPD.
DeleteHe's had a horrible childhood and I can understand where his trust issues come from but I couldn't possibly show him any more love than I do or try any harder to put his mind at rest.
Our problems started with Facebook too and male friends (a handful of them I did sleep with and admitted it to him, but I've told him they are just friends and I feel nothing for them). He thinks I am always chatting to them, I don't use chat on facebook, texting them etc. He's been through my phone. If I don't answer his call straight away he thinks it's because I'm with another man.
He honestly believes I flirt with men when I go into town. This I really can't believe since he openly flirts, both verbally and tactilely with other women in front of me and I've never done that to him or even given him cause to assume I do.
We're apart at the moment since he's in the army and until we get quarters, we're miles apart. When we're together, he's not so bad. It's when we're apart he goes off the scale with his paranoia.
Now I'm being blamed for having a past. He's convinced I loved my exes more than him. He won't let it drop about the relationships I had at university even though he upsets himself with my answers. I'm not going to lie to him. When I tell him I don't want to talk about it because i know where it's going, he thinks it's because I've got something to hide.
This is truly horrific. We go around in circles and I just feel like clamming up. I'm so frustrated with trying to show him how much i love him and I'm so afraid that if i delete male friends on facebook, it won't end there and I'll end up never leaving my house, surrendering all of my contact with the outside world to him when he leaves the house and I'm sure he'll still find a way to mistrust me.
Help. What can I do?? I love him so much and i can't bear the thought of losing him.
My wife has always found it difficult to deal with criticism and has in the past often personalised any harsh word or action at work and become convinced that person has a personal dislike or even a vendetta against her. As a result she has often found it difficult to settle into jobs and has had rarely lasted anywhere for a period of time. Recently though her behaviour has become much, much worse. We moved to a small town after our son was born and over time and she has become convinced that a large portion of the whole town has an active hatred of her. She hears people insulting her behind her back, calling her names, even complete strangers. Dropping off our child at school she regularly hears people insulting her or laughing at her. She is convinced a large group of the mothers at the school have a vendetta against her even though she has never even talked to most of them. There are more and more places she won't go to because people have it in for her. The thing is, in all the time we have lived here I haven't heard (or overheard) one bad word against her from anyone. She has a strong circle of friends and yet apart from these people just about EVERYONE in the town supposedly hates her. A couple of times she has tentatively broached the subject with her friends but it seems no one has heard any of the rumours about her which she is convinced are being spread. IN Short there is no proof at all that anyone is saying anything about her but is is impossible to convince her of this. I am at my wits end knowing what to do and it is damaging our relationship. I don't want to think she is making all this up but I can't see any other answer as the alternative - that there is a deep conspiracy against her which only me and her friends don't know about, is too ridiculous. I am trying to see it as an illness but it is hard. She is constantly hassling me to get another job in another town so she can escape all the people victimising her. I would do this even though I like the town and my son loves his school but I am worried things would just repeat themselves.. Just don't know what to do...
ReplyDeleteMy husband of nearly three years is suffering from ppd. I am preparing myself mentally for a divorce. It is the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. He is my soulmate and true love, but at this point I cannot live with this pain anymore. I have tried to not take his demeaning hostility personal but after hours/days/weeks/months/years of the accusations and paranoia I feel depleted and sometimes without a soul. I have tried every tactic to defuse these situations but nothing works. If I am able to talk and get a word in then "I'm lying" if I stay quiet and listen then "I'm hiding something". If i argue back then he turns everything I say against me. He usually doesn't let me talk and when he asked questions he answers them for me (in favor of his argument).
ReplyDeleteWhen he is fine, we are the happiest and most loving couple I have ever seen or met. He means everything to me but I'm afraid that things will end tragically for us if I don't get out. Lately it's been getting worse because he is in a stressful job and is not getting sleep. He has a hard enough time sleeping to begin with and the lack of sleep is really causing him to go crazy with his paranoia. When he wakes up in the early morning he gets my phone and goes into the other room and goes through it thoroughly. He will write down and call all the numbers that i had in my phone the day before. He mainly thinks I'm cheating on him or when I go somewhere that there is a malicious reason for it (like I'm going to meet up with an ex bf or something). When i first met him I thought he was just really jealous so I gave him access to my phone email etc. I always told him where I was going, who I was with, when I would be home, and why I was going. This sometimes helped but I could see that he was still suspicious. He finally agreed to go to a psychiatrist and that is when his dr told me that he suffers from paranoia. He still thinks nothing is wrong and any mistrust and paranoia is because "i put it there" and "I did it to him". As time went on I started looking into paranoia more to try and learn to deal with it myself and came across ppd descriptions. My husband fits almost 90% of the symptoms and the ones that I think are the big factors are his childhood, (it was really bad) and his mother suffers from a mental illness as well (i believe its schizophrenia, but he tells me she just has epilepsy) his family doesnt talk about it too much. She lives on the other side of the country but every time I have seen her she has these 'episodes'.
We have a 2 year old beautiful, smart, and loving daughter. She is my strength through this and the reason I'm leaving. I do not want her to grow up and see her father act this way and wonder why he is saying all these horrible things to me or to have social issues herself. I love him 2nd to her, and that is why I'm leaving him.
I still believe we are soul-mates. But just because we are doesn't mean we should and can be together. I know he will always be a part of me and my life, but I realized that I don't need to throw my life away and make his life harder to deal with. I will always love him. God bless the significant others and family members out there that are dealing with this, and I pray for those who are living it.
God bless you too. Very much appreciate your story. It's good to know that there are others going through the same thing... but sad to know it too :(. Cherish the joy and give the pain no company.
DeleteI've been married to a woman with PPD for 5 years. I decided to divorce her (or get the annulment of marriage) a week ago. First thing I want to tell all of you is this - I WOULD NEVER HAVE THE COURAGE TO DO THIS, IF MY BODY WOUDN'T FORCE ME TO. How? It was when she went crazy again, because I told my wife, that one of our friends (sorry, for her just female)looked nice in some shirt - she said she was planning how to make a revenge by saing that oder men are good looking (maybe it's a little thing, but every week for 5 years...). My body just said STOP!!! I got a blood pressure 230-160, I was hot and doctor said I almost got a heart attack. I've been forcing myself to struggle in my marriage and I'm SO MUCH grateful to my body, that it forced me to get out. Hey people - life is too precious!!! Dany
ReplyDeleteI have been involved with a man for the last eleven and a half years now. I love him dearly. When he is sane, he is remarkable. He is my soul mate and we are extremely compatible which makes it even harder.
ReplyDeleteUp until today and reading various posts, I did not have a diagnosis. I knew something was amiss and most of the time I blamed myself.
He is fine and then for no reason is out of control. Every single conversation revolves around me dating and seeing other people. He accuses me of infidelity constantly - there is no reason for this.
Most of the time if I go out he gets out of hand.
Most times he won’t accompany me. If I go I am going to see other men, I am ashamed of him. I avoid going anywhere as much as possible.
He is suspicious of work activities. Every time anything comes up I am unsure how to address it with him.
I can move my whole day and rearrange people to spend time with him but whatever I do he will find fault with. Every thought I have or action I take is wrong. If I return a call, I am manipulative and controlling and am a liar. I take my cell phone in for repairing and it is because I am playing games and am a liar. I have an I Phone, which he uses to track my whereabouts.
I have left him on a regular basis. I generally come back because there are many good sides to our relationship. I forget the hellish part.
He has been better for a short period and ready to make more of a commitment. I have come to realise is not a good plan. He is now threatening my job. He accuses me of things that are false and you cannot rationalise or reach him. It is always me and now I have four personalities. It is me.
I do not know how to handle him and what to do to keep him calm and stable. Nothing works. I loath to leave but do not see any other option.
I have broached the subject of us going to a therapist, was told no way we can sort out issues our selves. He will never admit there is anything wrong with him and his behaviour is justified. He always had posts on date clubs but this was my imagination. I know he is insecure. However, there is also arrogance. I am at my wits end. My friends have commented if they had just met him and not seen the abusive smses they would have called me a liar, as he can be so charming. He can be generous. With me, he is controlling. I will give me things then take them back.
After reading the posts here, I have no doubt that he is suffering from PPD. In a way, it makes it easier to deal with. I guess short of him coming to the realisation that he is sick and the chances of this are remote there is no course of change. He is highly functional work wise he works on his own has his own company and is highly intelligent.
Wow, am I happy to have stumbled upon this blog.
ReplyDeleteI dated a woman for a year that has PPD and it has been a rollercoaster ride. When we first met, things were fine. There were signs here and there, but nothing that was overwhelming. But then the chronic accusations started: I was cheating with my ex, I was lusting after woman at work, I was lying all the time. It is so hard on your self-esteem. My parents raised me to be a good man, and I would have never cheated on her. But there is nothing you can do to convince them otherwise. If I was out playing softball with friends I would have to send her pictures to confirm I was there (I'm not sure why I agreed to this - but I did love her).
The best way I could describe trying to reason with her is quicksand. We used to work together and one day I bought her flowers, instead of a thank you she told me I did it to show the other women at work what a great boyfriend I would make for them. I mean, what do you do about that?
The whole thing makes me so sad because I truly care for her, but with this kind of relationship you have to start thinking of the toll on your own mental health. Thanks for listening.
I just celebrated my one year wedding anniversary with second husband. Things were amazing when we first got together. He treated me so amazing and was so loving he played with my children everything was perfect. We rushed things and got married after 6 mths but I felt like everything was perfect. Then he just started to act weird saying I didn't treat him like I did in the beginning and i was flirting with his friends and i wasn't. He didn't like the fact that my ex husband and i was friends for our children he didn't like me talking to ppl wanted to know who ppl were on my fb started getting my phone going through it for no reason. He would get in my face yell scream call me a cunt Whore dumb bitch then get mad cause I would go numb and not fight back I would just shut down cause that was hurtful. That would make him more mad he has chocked me spit in my face pulled me across the floor by my hair cover my mouth and nose so I couldn't breath put pillows over my face. He has done stupid things in public try to pretend like he would wreck the car cause i don't love him. Finally one day in a Walmart parking lot I was going to the store he followed me in his car driving crazy yelling at me in the parking lot which ended up getting him arrested not cause i put him there bit because he was disturbing the peace. He told me he was sorry he was gonna go to counseling he did for a bit didn't tell me what he was diagnosed with. Then he done ok for a bit until one day he jusy went crazy on me I told him I couldn't do it anymore he then grabbed a knife held it to his throat started cutting his arms and told me to watch him kill himself he said things would get better if we just moved so out of fear I said ok lets move we moved two hours away and it was good for 2 weeks but he still throws me throws things at me thru a vacuum at me pushed me down stairs threw me in the front yard. Then yesterday he just come up and told me I don't love him or his son that I only care for me and my kids and that's not true I do everything for my family I lay his clothes out for work pack his lunch rub his feet everything. So yesterday he told me to hurry up and go to work he was tired of looking at me i was sitting down and said I will he then gets up in my face yelling more and more I told him to get out of my face he said bitch I will smack the fuck out of you and he did. I ran out got a ride and left he called and said I'm sorry I just want help so he went to the emergency room and they got copies of his diagnosis he is bi polar and paranoid personality disorder. I love him but don't know what to do cause he has already said he will kill me or kill himself if I leave. Then the hospital gave him meds and it mellowed him out he is to continue this until his psychologist appt next week. I'm losing my mind and don't know how much more i can take.
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