Are you constantly dealing with the paranoid delusions of a parent? Couple your mom or dad possibly have Paranoid Personality Disorder? Do you think that you can save the relationship, or is it time to break the ties?Leave a comment, as a question. Lets start a conversation about living and coping with a paranoid parent.
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Glad to see this blog out here. i hope more people decide to come here to seek help/advice on how to deal with PPD in their family. I found your blog from http://personalitydisorders.suite101.com/article.cfm/paranoid_personality_disorder I personally have a mother who suffers from PPD. One day when I couldn't take it anymore, I started researching mental illnesses on the internet. After dealing with my mothers situation for 30+ years, I realized that there was something wrong with her. I started searching and found information on PPD and it was like a ton of bricks was lifted off of my shoulders. She wasn't a horrible person, just sick. Reading about PPD and hearing others stories helps me to be able to deal with her illness. It is extremely painful as as someone mentioned "like living in the trenches of warfare everyday". Thanks again for putting this here. I am slowly moving towards being able to share my experiences with others. I have a fear that for some reason she will find information I have posted and move to being in an even more paranoid state. Which in a weird ways starts making me become the paranoid one. As i listen to others sharing their stories and pains, it is giving me strength to help myself to have confidence to know it hasn't been me all this time, or my father, and to attempt to live a happy life despite our pain, to try to raise my children to not be affected by the issues from my childhood. To recognize, be aware and seek guidance. Thanks again...
ReplyDeleteAnonymous -
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing your experience! I am glad that you found learning about Paranoid PD to be helpful in understanding your mother. This blog is very new, so there are still few participants. Help me spread the word and hopefully soon the PPD blog can become a supportive network of people sharing their experiences with Paranoid PD.
I believe my sister has PPD. I've been dealing with her distruction for 15 years which is when it appeared to start. she has accused myself and all of her family of horrible things. She draws dramatic negative conclusions about totally insignificant comments and events. Whats worse, she has a 13 year old daughter, lives alone with her, and my niece is starting to have big problems relating at school because her mother is teaching her (through her actions) to make a big deal out of nothing, everythings complicated. I cant talk to my sister about it, she's convinced... her nieghbor is trying to break into her computer, the whole community is working on a master plan to hurt her and her daughter, I'm in on the plot because I have 3 tulips growing in my garden and so does her nieghbor whos trying to break into her computer, etc... Its really bad, seems to be no help and I'm very scared for my niece. What do I do? Am I overreacting? should I be scared for my niece? I've been trying to find some kind of medical intervention info online and come up empty. I'm really loosing sleep over this. any input would be so appreciated
ReplyDeleteInvoluntary commitment is an option because they tend not to seek help and actively are mistrustful of any Doctor trying to help. You can start by contacting Social Services to check in on your niece!!
ReplyDeleteInvoluntary commitment is the practice of placing a person to a psychiatric hospital or ward against his or her will, in compliance with mental health laws of the country. Commitment is normally time-limited and requires reevaluation at fixed intervals.
Most countries require a formal court hearing if the individual is hospitalized involuntarily more than briefly. Commonly, the commitment process begins when a law enforcement officer or a designated mental health professional determines that a person is in urgent need of psychiatric evaluation. If this evaluation indicates a need for further hospitalization, a court order must be obtained. Physicians (mainly psychiatrists but can be others), or psychologists present written reports to the court and in some cases testify before the judge. The person who is involuntarily hospitalized may be provided with legal counsel, and may challenge the commitment through habeas corpus rules.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Involuntary_commitment
My mother has 4 of the listed PPD symptoms, but has not been properly treated; whene vr we talk her into going to therapy, she spends her efforts trying to convince the therapist that she doesn't really need help. As she gets older, her manipulating and controlling has gotten worse. To get away from her paranoid delusions, her need to always have an arch enemy, and her covert destruction tactics(which are often turned on her own kids), I moved 2400 miles away. My sister (8 years younger), is too much of the family baby to stand up for herself and move more than a couple of hours from our parents, so she is stuck being the Omega dog & dealing with my Mom's crap, while I am seen as a deserter. It may sound cruel, but I don't care. Yes I know my Mom is sick, but I cannot let her destroy my life (anymore) out of some sort of familial duty. I didn't ask to be born and did not know my life came with some sort of messed up debt to a crazy person who never should have had kids in the first place.
ReplyDeleteIf your parent has PPD (or another disorder) and they are hurting YOU (or your kids) with their antics, you could do what I did and try to move far away from them if you can. Regardless of your plan, NOBODY should have to put up with abuse just because the person doing it is "sick" (and a parent). From what I've read, there is no hope for PPD. And as my Mom gets worse each year, I look back in my rearview mirror and wish my sister would get away, too. But her road is her choice. In a few years she'll be totally overburdened by a manipulating crazy woman and wonder how that happened. I hope that if this sounds like you, YOU don't let that happen. No need to feel guilty, either. Life is short. And crazy (however sad it may be), cannot be reasoned with.
I'm not sure why I'm commenting. I've realized that just because I now know what is going on with my sister doesn't mean that anything will change. She will never believe that she needs help. We were so close for so long or at least I thought so. She has done so much to me and it's because she thinks that the entire family including me is out to get her. She got her "revenge" as she called and nothing in the world can fix what she did. I am trying to work out my emotions. I'm so hurt and angry that it is hard to feel bad for her even now that I now that she has paranoid personality disorder. Even if by some miracle she were to get help, that doesn't fix the destruction she left. My other sister is more forgiving and says that she only worries about what our sister's behavior will lead too. I'm finding forgiving hard. Her "revenge" was calculated and cruel and I guess I'm just reaching out for some sort of understanding. I don't have any way to have any to closure to this.
ReplyDeleteI am dealing wiht a step mother that has been in my life sence a very little girl. i am aware that she has abused medications and basically on the level of a heroin addict. before this she had a horrible drinking problem and before all of that we just grew up with her raw disorder. I am now a mother myself and can not relate to her for the life of me. I am not sure how to take percoutions towards her vengeful, roughten behaviors. and knowing that she has a problem and is sick dosent stop the anger i natrually feel. the attacks she makes towads my family and i are completely left feild and wrong.She trys her hardest to destroy my reputation and dirty my name. as well as my husbands and my fathers. i am aware she has a diorder and a drug problem on top of it. but these episoeds have lasted years and her vengefulness has no limits. i want to protect my family and i dont want my daughter to experence any of it. Any advice??
ReplyDeleteIts really amazing that ive found a sight that has something like this. My mum has ppd and i have a 2 younger sisters who both still live at home, i moved away as quick possible when i was 18 but now im moving home to take care of my sisters, im too worried for them and i feel responsible even though i know its not my fault. Everyone here knows just how hard it is even trying to have a regular conversation with someone with ppd but i just try thinking it must be so horrible not trusting anyone and always thinking people are out to get you or dont like you so i try my best to be the one person whos there for them and positive so maybe just maybe someday she'll get better.
ReplyDeleteI have a stepdaughter (36 years old) with paranoid personality disorder. She has worsened over the years and now has a 3 year old. We fear for this child and her husband who does not have a strong enough personality to deal with this. This seems very severe to me at this point but I am not sure at what point or what indication is a sign that we need to do something to prevent harm to the child. She recently wrote me a letter that i am not to participate in any family function and she has blocked my husband (her fathers) phone from her cell, house and her husbands phone. We are not allowed to see the child or even call her husband. She will call the police if you show up to even deliver a gift on the childs birthday. EVERY interaction ends badly. She threatened a restraining order if we ever gave her child meat (vegetarian). We have stayed away to cause less chaos but i am not sure that the chaos is not going on anyway so what should we do?
ReplyDeleteMy mother has PPD. We are clueless as to how to deal with her. Some say confront her when she manipulates, tells a lie, or attacks us. I have 2 sisters and 1 brother. She does not treat my brother like she treats us, he is perfect and can do no wrong in her eyes and she has convinced him that we are mistreating her. My 2 sisters have all but cut her out of their life and I have been left trying to cope with her abusive attacks. Please me know if you have had success with confronting the behavior or is it better to try to look over her abusive outbursts? I want to cut her out of my life, too!
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure what my 70 year old mom has-she hasn't been diagnosed because when her symptoms started out of the blue 3 years ago-she refuses to see a doctor. She believes gods control her, take out/replace body parts on a regular basis, and so many other things there isn't enough room to post.
ReplyDeleteMost recently-she heard birds cooing and thought there was violence going to happen in the neighborhood and couldn't stay in her house. I talked to her til I was blue in the face but she was determined to go to a hotel. So, what could I do? She isn't a danger to herself or others. She is just paranoid and unreasonable. My Dad just passed away unexpectedly 4 months ago and its been even more stressful handling her without his help. How can I maintain my sanity? My husband and I have an 8 year old to raise. Prayers, please...
I recently realised my mother has PPD. In spite of the immediate weight off my shoulders, I've been wrestling with what to do with this information.
ReplyDeleteI am now pretty at ease with the situation, realising this:
My mother is 60, will never change and probably even grow worse. This is totally MY problem, since she has no idea. She's just fighting the outside world that's out to harm her. The only thing I can get out of my new insights is to learn how to deal with my mother and most importantly learn how growing up with her affected my youth and is still affecting my current life.
I grew up alone with my mother. When I was young I naturally thought she was quite a heroïne, protecting me from malicious school teachers, suing big companies, fighting the government, etc. We were like a pack, managing fine together, though surrounded by people and organisations with bad intentions.
Problems in our relationship only started when I began contradicting her as I grew older and wiser: trying to calm her down, telling her I didn't see the big harm in things that people said or did.
Our relationship became more and more shallow as she started to distrust me too. Finding my father drove things to a climax, as she accused me of gathering information about her that he would somehow use against her.
My mother can be a very warm and loving person, as long as she doesn't feel threatened. I used to show her my good intentions by trying to keep her out of fights and arguments with other people. I've stopped that since I know that it's useless. I now make extra sure that I make her feel safe, valued, cared for and listened to. Her defence towards me is already coming down, and our conversations aren't always about her anger, lawsuits and enemies anymore.
And the effect it had on me? I guess I've found the reason that I'm always making sure I'm not a nuisance to other people, not insulting people, forever showing my good intentions, not spoiling people's time, etc. In short a fear of failing and disturbing, that I imagine many people on this forum can relate to.
PS: the above mentioned 70 year old mum doesn't sound like a typical PPD patient. In my grandmother's case paranoia seemed to come hand in hand with her alzheimers disease. Could that be the case?
Wow,
DeleteThe "heroine" totally was like my mother. Thanks for sharing :)
My question to everyone here is now: How do we deal with our PPD parents?
Thank you so much for stating your mother's effect on you! A light bulb came on for me. Now I understand why I have always been concerned that I am offending someone, and I often apologize after much worry that I have hurt someone's feelings. My mother was offended by someone on a daily basis (neighbor, teacher, nurse, clerk, relative, person walking by the house on a Wednesday afternoon, etc.). There were many fights between my mom and other people; I remember neighbor kids knocking on our door and asking why my mom made their mom cry.
ReplyDeleteI hope you and everyone else with PPD relatives can find peace and live in happiness after understanding that the disease was the cause for the behavior. It does not end the pain endured in the past, but at least there is a reason to explain the behavior. Education is good. I am working on resolution too.
Hi there... so I've noticed over the past couple years ad I've grown that my mom- well, that there must be something wrong with her. It's gotten worse over the past few months- but over the past week is where it's really tipped the edge. She is so convinced that everyone is out to get her; like at my cousins wedding last week at the reception- my uncle was saying that it was going to be a gong show (Because of the several 3- yr. old kids) and my mom thought he was looking and talking about her when he said it. And then she accused my dad of being gay because he was talking to one of my cousins male friends for about 10 minutes. And then yesterday, when the cell phone bill came and my mom found out my dad was calling long distance. My mom called the number and it was a woman- so now my mom is convinced he was cheating on her (Although my dad was just talking to this woman because she wanted to rent one of his houses). Please help, I'm so sick of hearing her fume on and on about everyone and everything. One time she accused me of spreading rumors about her- which I didn't! I have absolutely no one to talk to because I live somewhere rural- my mom took away my phone and my sisters are both moved out. I'm only 14 but I feel like this has put me in so much emotional crap and I'm just sick of it- I feel like I have a big gaping hole in my chest. Advice?
ReplyDelete